Step 1, to get what you want, you must know what you want.


I hate grocery shopping…it not the act of shopping that is the problem, it is deciding.

There are so many inputs when it comes to the food I buy— the health conscious literature (constantly changing), the kiddos desires, the hubby’s desire, the how-much-effort-am-I-willing-to-go-to question, the weekly schedule, the cost, the hungry tummy…I’m sure there are more. But, when I take the time to meal plan, I’m 100% better off. I go to the store armed with a list of what to buy and my week goes much better.

Setting Intentions

I’ve found the same to be true for my every part of my life. When I take the time to decide what I want, I can create a plan and achieve it! When I don’t take the time, I don’t reach my goals. This is true for every part of life—if you don’t decide you want to go to Hawaii this year, you’re not going to go.

The longer I’ve lived, the more complicated and hard it seems to be to decide what I want. Like with grocery shopping, there are more and more inputs to consider: family commitments, money, time, daily demands like the grocery shopping and the laundry, fear and anxiety….the list goes on. There can also be a limiting belief that doing this work doesn’t change anything.

Take the Time

Taking the time changes everything! It’s enabled me to launch a new business, go to Yellowstone with the fam, integrate more fun in my life and more!

My approach takes into account the inputs—the basic requirements of life—as well as my own priorities, so I can live more intentionally and align my decisions about how I spend my time with those priorities.

If you’re interested on taking the time to define your intentional life, I’m hosting a workshop on April 13 from 2-5 p.m. to guide you through this process. You’ll set your intentions and create a strategy for meeting them. And you’ll have a lot of fun in the process.

What Derails You?

Photo by Jeff Wooten

Photo by Jeff Wooten

Recently, I told a friend I felt very derailed. In my mind, the train (my life) was completely off the track, cars blown everywhere, grooves in the earth, the train tracks peeling up.

My friend waited a moment and said “you’re not derailed, just held up. The train will just be later than expected.”

Wow. Game changer.

Just reframing that negative thought made a HUGE difference. Instead of being completely stopped and unable to move forward with my goals, I was paused. Instead of needing a crane or another large and expensive piece of equipment to move me forward, I could just take a breath and know that when I was ready, I could begin again.

What “Derails” You?

Let’s take a minute and think about what derails you from working on your goals. (Or maybe we should just say, causes you to pause).

In my case, it is frequently family. My father was in the hospital and my parents needed some support. My kids also derail me—sickness, holidays, sports….I could make this whole blog about how kids derail us but I won’t.

We’ve all had it happen. Illness, exhaustion, shiny object syndrome can cause us to get off track.

Frequently, it is my own mindset that derails me. When I lack motivation, when fear rears its ugly head, when I start comparing myself to others, I can get off track, in the weeds and down in the dumps (to borrow a few metaphors).

Where are you Off Track ?

When thinking about what slows down your progress, notice what part of life you’re working on. Does your attitude about things change if we’re talking about a diet or a plan to meet a friend versus a sales opportunity?

It seems for much of my adult life, I’ve been on a diet. Somehow, eating a piece of cake (surely a derailing activity for any diet), doesn’t seem to impact me as much as much as when I’m thrown off from a business goal. When I have the cake, I’m able notice how I feel after eating it (yum, delicious but gave me a headache), and remind myself I can make a better choice for my next meal.

Get Back On Track

Really, it’s all about choosing the way you THINK. Your mindset, if you will. The human brain is conditioned to think in an all or nothing mentality. If I can’t throw my entire self into this endeavor, if I can’t do things perfectly, I won’t do it at all.

Whoa. If that is our attitude, how can we ever accomplish anything?

Life frequently throws obstacles in the way. Just like the diet/cake choice, we have to decide what’s important and know we’ll have the opportunity to make another choice soon. In my case, my family is important. While it isn’t always easy or comfortable to choose them first, I don’t regret it.

What I need to do is remember I have a choice. I can choose to think I did the right thing thing and everything will be okay, rather than feeling stuck or off track. I mean, really, things always work out.

I can also make the choice to move forward with my goals. Even if I’m paused at the station, I can plan my next steps and schedule when to take them. If I can’t take action today, I can make a plan that will move me forward on my "train trip,” while making choices where and when to stop along the way.

After all, it’s not about the destination, but about the journey.

Final Words

Make choices about how you think. Reframe your negative thoughts. Celebrate your own progress while working towards your goals.

Good luck and let me know if I can help.